Stupid Hippy People

I-have one thing to say! I am in no need of a mercy fuck in regards to rekindling long lost friendships. I have lots of friends. The "Wow man its too bad we didn't have time to hang out. by the way you owe me money (even though I tried to pay you 10 times and you never returned my calls)" crap is weak.

As previous posts detail, I recently moved back to British Colombia. Its a complicated situation because my kids go to school in Calgary but we're there as much as possible. As a result of my return I have had the pleasure of catching up with old friends and making some new ones too.

However, to be honest, I find several of the people I was closest to as a child are now complete retards. I'm actually a little ashamed at how self involved and transparent some have become. I know that I'm no gem, in fact, I have a reputation of being one mean mother fucker when crossed and i can't seem to have a functional dating relationship.

I guess its just how absolutely transparently self preoccupied some of my old chums have evolved into. I don't trust the words behind their smiles. Its weird when you realize that people you trusted intrinsically before have morfed into some sort of used car salesmanesque hippy dippy flipper baby.

Oh well, they earned a place at my table years ago and they will always be welcome in my life. However, because of our past they are also entitled to my honest appraisals.

PS. This is my new KX450F which I plan to use a lot because I am the AntiChrist of Hills.

Hugs and Kisses

New Years in Siberia

New Years is the big day here in Russia. Christmas passes without much celebration but New Years is a big broohaha. In some towns kids dress up like it Halloween and trick or treat. Christmas trees are called New Years trees and new years presents are exchanged. We had an office New Years Party on December 27. It was fun. We danced and I wore my new suit and tie.

On the actual New Years eve, Trevor (man in blue next to me) and I drove to the rigs that were running over the holidays. We thanked our staff for working and being away from their families. We shared some New Years cheer and cake. Its a shitty thing to have to ask guys to work through the holidays. I know I don't like it. I wish I could have been home with my boys.
This is the nature of work. Doing things when you would rather not.

Regardless of work shedules
Some people did find time to celebrate the coming of 2007

Happy New Years

80 days and The Bath That Made Siberia Livable

Galina and I are doing renovations. She is very meticulous, I am a Bull Moose.
She explained everything we were doing and I nodded and pretended to listen.
We couldn't live in our flat for a while because there was no Bath.
I din't see the renovations as they progressed.
I've been at work 80 days, no weekends, no days off, calls all night.
Galina dutifully told me what was going on and I worked hard to forget anything she said because I'm a twit.


Any way we moved back home and I saw "THE TUB"
Its an aquatic orgasm.
Its huge!
Its a Jacuzzi!
It has underwater lights that change colors!
I love it!

Galina and I sit in it and just soak!
When I come off the Rig its my moist Babylon!

This Bath Tub is my small Oasis in the Siberian Wilderness.

For a short time I am King Neptune and Galina is my Mermaid Queen.

Why

"Why do you work so hard?"
they asked
"Because there's a giant fucking squirrel eating my brain"
screamed Tim


These are pictures of the standard living conditions at the Rig in Siberia.
The trailers are converted sea cans
They have:
No toilets
No running water
No centralized heating or cooling.
The mattresses smell like BO

However, I would much rather work here!

The Canadian oil patch is boring!
Satellite TV, sit toilets, and showers. Ha

Who needs it?

So what if my coworkers and I smell like dung piles and I poop in a snow bank because the single outhouse on location has a pile of shit jutting out of the hole 10 inches high.

It's good times!
It's primal
It's the way God intended manly men to exist.
We're Rig workers
strong
proud
made of steel and justice

Like Hell!
It SUCKS
Why do we do it?
It's Simple!!!

Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money

Jeezus!
Who the fuck would do it for any other reason?

Peace out Players

What Do you Mean you don't have any Tacos?

In my daily walk to the office I go past this store. You see the welcoming Cheese burger and tasty Taco just beckoning you to go to the Sibersky Bistro and sink into a hot juicy Taco.

I don't miss much about Canada, to be honest, my kids primarily, clean drinking water out of the tap, and TACOS

I am the taco king! My kids and I whip up an awesome mess of soft tacos. Each boy has specialized in certain aspects of the overall process and like a precision instrument we produce Tacos of mythical goodness.

Sadly, corn chips and corn tortillas have not made their way over the Urals. I have searched in vain for them.

Anyway to the point, I like Tacos and this Bistro should, if you believe the sign, have some sort of Taco.
However, when I ventured in there, maneuvered my way through the line of people, attracted the attention of the server (who, like most Russians in the service industry, would rather swallow their tongues then serve you)
I was informed that they did not have, nor would they ever have Tacos.

WHAT THE FUCK

Instead they had the usual warm beer, doughy meat pastries (with chewy mystery meat) and squid chips. The basic crap that is available at every street corner store.

I don't ask much. When I'm on the rig I poop in an outhouse where the poop actually mounds out of the hole. I've learnt to enjoy frozen fish and Vodka (with enough Vodka you could eat your shoes and enjoy it). I actually like some Disco. I even own a pair of pointy shoes that are all the rage here.

All I really want to know is why evil Bistro owner, why do you taunt me so?

My Galina

I have been with Galina for 2 years. She is wonderful. We are both crazy but it works.
I don't know what I would do without her.
She makes me strong
and
I will always love her

Gay Cowboys eating Plastic Unicorns

The little brown bird tried hard to be kind to all creatures.

Camels where his least favorite.

Space Travel is best left to Dogs

Obsessive Compulsive Panda Bears giving hand jobs for spare change

Thundering monkeys with liver spot milking Jehova's witnesses

All on Prime Time with butter and righteous shrimp cocktails

Self Absorbed mid thirty year old children of Hippies licking the urinal walls

Snorkle